Just like E's crack pipe, this article does not actually contain all that much DMT.
I went to a rave in [city name] city with some friends. There were a lot of us, mostly R's friends, and I didn't know all of them all that well. Hell, I didn't even really know where we were going, just that it was a rave. K couldn't go. We took a train, arrived late at night, and entered the place. It was like a club or something. Pretty quickly I realized it was mostly hardcore, which was not my favorite type of music, but whatever.
I was on my amphetamine arc at the time, so that's what I brought with me. We didn't spend much time as a whole group, we kind of just separated into smaller groups, and I enjoyed randomly walking up to any people I knew, and having a random chat, or just dancing together for a bit, before migrating elsewhere. I don't know if it was the speed, or what, but I felt very little anxiety, and even got into some shenanigans17.
I see one of my friends sitting alone on one of the couches. She looks kinda sad, so I sit down next to her, and we start talking. She really wants some ecstasy. I offer her speed, but she really wants ecstasy. Okay, I'm a good friend, how hard can it be to get some MDMA at a place like this. I start by asking all the people we came here with - nothing, everyone who had anything already used it up. One of them mentions something about "little chaos", but I have no idea who or what that is, so I move on. I start asking strangers, but everyone seems careful talking about this subject. No good. I come back to my friend, and sit down. Sad. Not only did I let her down, I got excited to do MDMA myself, and now have to deal with the fact that I won't get any.
Out of nowhere, a couple of guys walk up to me:
Are you [name] from [city name]?
Yes?
Let's go outside.
This is it. I must've done something wrong, and they're going to beat me up. This is how I die. How did they even know my name, and the city I was from?
I walk outside, and they take me to this guy, who's smoking a cigarette. He's older than me, but he does not look threatening, even with his face tattoos. Hanging from his neck is this huge yellow sign that says "LITTLE CHAOS". Oh. So that's Little Chaos. The sign is about as big as a full sheet of paper. Almost like a "WE'RE OPEN" sign you'd see on a restaurant or barbershop door or something. I assumed that was his nickname.
Are you [name] from [city name]?
Yes
I heard you wanted to buy some ecstasy, so I decided to look around. Now, I don't sell this stuff myself, but I found a dude who had an MDMA crystal18 he was willing to sell. They usually go for around 50 for a gram, but since this one is all crushed up, I'm willing to give it to you for 30. Have you ever done pure MDMA?
No
I see. Do you have anyone in your friend group who has?
I think so
Okay, then ask them to help you with the dosage. This is not like ecstasy pills, very easy to overdose. I don't want anything bad to happen to you, and I can not guarantee the quality. If it turns out you don't have anyone experienced with this stuff, it's best you just take it home to [city name] and try it there instead, okay?
Okay
I go back inside19. I find a friend who had tried MDMA crystals before, B20, and we decide to go to the bathroom, so I can show her what we're dealing with under better lighting, and without all the people21. In the stall it's still awkward - the lighting isn't as good, there's no clean surface to put it down and really inspect it, the music is still loud making it difficult for us to communicate. The decision is made - I'm just going to take it home with me.
Back home. I have a crystal burning a hole in my pocket, but not for long. Me, B, E, his girlfriend, and E's brother all meet up one night, and I bring the crystal. Safe space, safe people. Finally, I'll get to see what this crystal thing is all about. We crush it up and snort it. Wait a good half hour or so. Nothing. We try swallowing it. Nothing. No matter what we do with it, none of us feel anything. Well, doesn't matter, we have music, we have good company, we can have fun without the drug, even if I was a little disappointed that I'd spent so much money and didn't even get to experience it.
E comes up to me. Turns out, he did DMT a couple of days ago, and has "some" left. And since I'm "such a great guy" he wants to share it with me. There's not enough for everyone, so the two of us go to another room. We sit down, and he pulls out a literal glass crack pipe22, with some brown residue in it. He heats it up, we both take some puffs, but there's barely anything in there. We lie down on some bean bags with our eyes closed.
Nothing, just darkness. Okay, it feels like I am traveling somewhere. Kinda. I think I'm going "up". After some time, I feel like I have arrived at some place. It's still completely dark, but I see some structure, maybe a mountain above me. From the contours of it, some heads start poking out. Dwarfs. They're all looking at me. They seem happy, and they start dancing, I think I start moving a little too. We dance for a bit, and then they all wave goodbye to me, duck behind the mountain, and everything disappears. That's it. No grand breakthroughs, no mind-altering experience, just a fun little dance with some silhouettes of dwarfs. I can't say it's what I expected from one of the strongest psychedelics known to man, but I can't say that I did not enjoy it. It was a really small amount after all. Hope you're doing well, my little dwarf friends!
17I was waiting in line at the men's bathroom. I had my hair dyed and my nails painted. This random older dude, who was clearly quite drunk, and did not seem like he really belonged there, started talking to me. He was basically calling me gay, but did not use the word directly, just said things like "how can you do 'it' with other men..." and so on. I tried to explain to him, that I am not gay, but he did not understand. Eventually, I just said:
Look, do you have a girlfriend or wife?
No
Well I do. And you're the one who won't leave me alone in the men's bathroom, so what's really going on here?
At which point he just kinda ran away from me. I met him later, standing against a wall next to the dance floor. We made eye contact, and I started walking towards him a bit, dancing. I believe I wanted to say something about him just standing and not dancing, but he ran away from me again.
18Ecstasy pills contain MDMA, but they're usually mixed with something else. It really can be anything, ibuprofen, caffeine, amphetamine, methamphetamine... even rat poison, or so I believed. MDMA crystals are just the MDMA without being pressed into a pill. A single ecstasy pill usually contains around 200-250mg MDMA.
19I was still confused about the whole interaction that just took place, and was literally just holding the crystal in my hand. I walked in, saw the bouncer. Shit. Slid my hand into my pocket like I had something to hide. Fuck, he clearly saw that and is now going to search me. But he didn't, I just walked in.
20She's also the same girl from the 'Got gum?' short story, although that happens later in the timeline.
21As we're going into the stall, we get a couple of comments and whistles from the people standing in line, as we are a guy and a girl entering a single stall together.
22He assured me it wasn't his. He'd borrowed it from his barber specifically for this.